What is a curmudgeon except an older woman who used to be known as a bitch. Age, perhaps, gives you a little more leeway: no longer a bitch, just a grumpy old lady
Can a curmudgeon ever be happy? That’s a damned good question.
There are moments when the grumpy old woman can transcend herself. Often, these types have a fine sense of humor despite their outer facade. The running commentary on the irony of life makes people laugh out loud. Hearing that laughter warms the curmudgeon’s heart. The curmudgeon has a heart. She just guards it closely from the bullshit of the world.
Why is the curmudgeon so…curmudgeonly? Oh, god…
The world is a frustrating place full of stupidity and wasted energy, or lack of energy, focus, or sense. Here is a real life example for you:
She is sitting in a chair at the salon with her head tipped back against the neck cutout of the sink. She is in her sixties and the woman washing her hair is in her twenties. The young woman is washing out the hair dye which will hide the older woman’s gray for about eight weeks.
“Is the temperature of the water okay?” The girl asks. Legit, good question, thinks the curmudgeon, and she answers “Yes, thank you.” Curmudgeons can be very polite, especially on the outside. The curmudgeon still works for a living and the stress of it exhausts her. She enjoys the quiet time at the salon where she can read and relax.
“How has your summer been?” asks the young woman.
Oh, god, thinks the curmudgeon. She doesn’t want to converse with this chick. She just wants to close her eyes. She says, “Mostly, I worked. I don’t like hot weather.”
She thought that would be the end of it. She didn’t ask the girl about her summer.
“What do you do for a living?” The girl asks. Jesus, just stop, it’s too hard to explain and no one really understands it outside of the people she works with. How does she answer this, she wonders with growing annoyance. How does she tell her to leave her alone without saying “Leave me the fuck alone!”
“I work in an office,” she finally manages, and please stop trying to make small talk. We both know you have no interest in my life and you are working a tip. The curmudgeon doesn’t say the latter part, but she thinks to herself: you ask me one more effing question and you won’t get a tip.
She would have given the girl a tip either way, but this is her internal monologue. Curmudgeons can be quite generous even if they are grumpy.
Is the curmudgeon generally a happy person? Not usually, but as mentioned, she has her moments.
